It's been three weeks since I've been here, so I thought I'd attempt a little cornea update.
Things are better. Marginally so, but better. I still can't see clearly out of my right eye, but I can see, sort of. I can see my hand in front of my face. I can tell how many fingers I'm holding up. I can see the stripes on the bathroom wallpaper. And every day I can see a bit more. Not clearly, but I can tell stuff is there.
Three weeks ago I couldn't see my hand, or my fingers, or the wall that has wallpaper on it. So it's very, very, very encouraging, not just to see things, but to know that my eye is healing. We weren't sure until about a week ago. I'm a 'half-full' kind of girl, but until the end of last week I couldn't tell my husband I saw any improvement. Now I do, quite literally. That leads me to believe my eye will heal, and hopefully, prayerfully, it will heal completely.
I have yet another cornea specialist appt. tomorrow and we'll see what she says. Every time she checks my eye it runs us $100. If she cuts on it, to remove dead stuff so new stuff can grow, it costs another $100.
I have realized I am tougher than I thought. I can have someone deaden my eye, and snip scissors and not scream or run away, or even sweat.
All this means I also haven't driven a car since 2/28/14. That's the longest I've gone without driving since I was 17 years old.
My sweet, dear, off-the-charts nice-guy husband has driven me E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. since this happened. We went to the library three times last week, ironically for books for me to read with one eye. The grocery store at least twice. The gardening store. The farmer's market. The eye doctor. Panera for lunch. To visit churches. To the mall several times. A trip to Petsmart to look at dogs. A one hour drive across DFW to pick up a dog. And sometimes he just takes me out for ice cream or whatever to get me out of the house, because the truth is some of these days have felt like they lasted more than 24 hours.
I've been humbled to be so needy, and humbled to realize it could have been both my eyes, but thank-you-God it was only one. I can't even imagine what my husband would have had to do for me if it had been both.
So we're both hopeful I'm turning a corner, that the abrasian is healing enough to begin to make a difference in my sight. If someone had told me on March 1 that I would not drive til sometime in April, that I would not be able to read a book easily or watch TV or knit or pay bills online without a lot of work I would have been horrified.
But it's actually been okay. We've managed, been patient with each other, and I've realized I can do a lot with just this one eye working. I'm even knitting a baby sweater - who knew?
I've had a number of people ask me if it will heal completely - will my sight come back? I don't know yet. I pray so. Lots of people are praying so. It's looking more like it every day, no pun intended. Whatever it ends up being, when this right eye is as completely healed as it's going to get, and I get behind the wheel of our car, drive myself to the library or grocery store or hair appointment, I'm pretty confident I can say I won't ever, ever, ever take it, or him, for granted again.
Life lesson #999 - you're never too old for yet another life lesson.